A Thousand Miles
by Eastwind
Summary: A fic about Dib and Gazs' mom. It's very sad. A song fic, from the song A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton.


Disclaimer: I don't own Zim. No, and I never will.  
This is a very sad song fic about Dib and Gaz's mother. Just read. Yeah, I know that A Thousand Miles is suposed to be sung about a boyfriend, but I thought and thought, and it does fit the mood for this story.  
  
Everyone was quiet at dinner. It was the most depressing day of the year.  
The day of her death. Although it was one of the only days that Dad was home for dinner, we didn't talk like crazy like we usually did when Dad was home.  
Often times we'd lift our heads up from our dinner to glance at each other. We still didn't talk. We didn't want to stir bad memories up.  
  
  
Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces pass  
And I'm home bound  
  
  
The thought of me and Gaz, four and two, hearing of her death made me sad. Gaz was way too young not to have a mother. Raised by just a father. It was no wonder all she did was threaten me.  
  
  
Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd  
  
  
I squeezed my eyes shut to hold back some tears as I thought of my father. As he answered the phone in his normal cheerful voice. All of the sudden it went cold. His eyes grew dimmer. He cluched the phone as if hanging on for dear life.  
  
  
And I need you  
And I miss you  
But now I wonder  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you  
Tonight  
  
  
  
"I understand." he said very quietly. And he looked at me and Gaz with such pitty. He barely had to explain anything before we understood. I tried to hold back everything, and Gaz raced into my father's arms.  
"She's not! She can't be..." Gaz sobbed.  
Dad just nodded solemnly, and said "Sweetie, I'm sorry. She's..."  
Gaz sobbed even louder 'fore Dad could even finish his sentence.   
  
  
Though it's times like these  
When I think of you  
I wonder if you ever think of me  
With everything so wrong  
And I don't belong  
I'm living in your procious memory  
  
  
With her failing health, it shouldn't have surprised anyone. We all knew she had heart problems. Even Gaz knew it, and she was just two. But it broke my heart. How could she be gone? She'd always been there for me, but now she wasn't...it was like a terrible nightmare. One that I wouldn't wake up from, only to have her comfort me, and tell me everything would be fine. That's all I wanted. For everything to be fine.  
  
  
'Cause I'll need you  
And I'll miss you  
But now I wonder  
If I would fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you  
Tonight  
  
  
Even at dinner I wanted everything to be fine. Maybe if she were still there it'd be fine. Maybe she'd be able to help me expose Zim. She always seemed to be there for me, no matter how dark and scary everything seemed.  
  
  
And I  
I   
Don't want to let you know  
I  
I don't need your memories  
I  
I don't want to let this go  
I  
I don't...  
  
  
But then I thought of something. She'd never want us to be miserable. It was none of our faults she died. It wasn't her fault she died. It just happened...  
  
  
Making my way down town  
Walking fast  
Faces pass  
And I'm home bound  
  
  
Then I began to think even more. I looked at my sister and my dad. Both were on the verge of crying. Why? She passed away, but she had a great life. After all, death is a part of life, isn't it?  
  
  
Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd  
  
  
I stood up and said what had been on my mind almost throughout the whole dinner.   
"We should be celebrating her life, instead of mourning her...her death!"  
I must have surprised Dad and Gaz. But then I realized I was crying. It was the first time since her death that I cried. I'd promised for Gaz and Dad's sake I'd never cry again...  
  
  
And I still miss you  
And I still need you  
But now I wonder...  
  
  
Dad held back tears more than he'd ever in his life. Not once had I'd seen him cry. Not once. Gaz was crying too. She hadn't ever cried since the incident.   
  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time   
Would pass us by  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you  
  
  
We visited her grave today. We plan to every year. We hadn't since her funeral, but we did today. Dad wasn't reluctant, like he was to go to her funeral. He couldn't bare to look at her cold face all those years ago.  
  
  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time   
Would pass us by  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you  
  
  
I don't remember what he last words to me were. I remeber they were sweet, and still remeber the sound of her voice when she said them. Maybe she was aware she was going to die soon, but she didn't tell me, Gaz, or Dad. Maybe it was just better that way...  
  
If I could just hold you  
Tonight... 


End file.
